Paralyzed
by kipseyjewles
Summary: This is a short sad one-shot. Warning; suicide and major character death


**Song-fic song Paralyzed by NF**

 **WARNING: Suicide**

 **I'm sorry if it seems like a lot of my stories are sad, but I'm just going through a lot right now. This is another sad story as well. After this though, I will try my best to write happy stories. I just need some ideas. Again, I'm really sorry for writing all of this sad stuff. If you like it, then that's good. If you don't then I'm sorry again. I will try to write some more happy.**

 **Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. They are S.E. Hinton's.**

 **Bold: Song**

Print: Story

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Anyone's POV

 **When did I become so numb?**

Ponyboy took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror. It was 2:00 in the morning, and he was by himself in the bathroom, with the door locked. He looked at himself closely. His skin was pale, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He took another deep breath and looked down at the sink.

 **When did I lose myself?**

Pony looked at the bathroom door, and his eyes got watery. He knew this was the end. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. He missed them too much. His mom, his dad, Johnny, Dally, all of them. He couldn't take it anymore.

 **All the words that leave my tongue, feel like they came from someone else.**

He looked at himself in the mirror again. The only difference this time was that his eyes were watery now. The truth was, he was scared. As much as he wanted to end it all, he was scared. He looked down at his hands to find them shaking.

 **I'm Paralyzed. Where are my feelings?** **I no longer feel things I know I should.**

Pony reached up and opened one of the cabinets. He slowly took out a bottle of pills and stared at it. That was when he broke.

 **I'm Paralyzed. Where is the real me? I'm lost and it kills me inside... I'm paralyzed.**

He cried. He didn't care who heard him though. He knew that it was already too late. If his brothers heard, there wasn't anything they could do about it. The door was locked, and so by the time they got it unlocked, it would be over. Pony continued to cry, and held the pill bottle tightly.

 **When did I become so cold? When did I become ashamed?**

He slowly opened the bottle with shaking hands and set the lid down on the counter. He took out one pill and looked at himself in the mirror. He thought to himself for a minute, before popping the pill in his mouth and swallowing.

 **Where's the person that I know? They must have left (They must have left) With all my faith.**

He took out a second pill, and looked at it as his eyes became more watery. He did the same thing with that pill that he did with the first one. He popped it in his mouth and swallowed.

 **I'm Paralyzed. Where are my feelings?** **I no longer feel things I know I should.**

He continued to do that with more pills. He swallowed pill number three, then four, then five, and so on. His stomach felt weird when he reached pill number 9, and that was when he heard the footsteps.

 **I'm Paralyzed. Where is the real me? I'm lost and it kills me inside... I'm paralyzed.**

Ponyboy jumped as he heard someone walk up to the door and call his name. He quickly recognized the voice to be Soda's. "Pony? You okay in there?" Soda asked. Pony wiped his eyes and replied with, "Y-yeah, I'm okay." He internally kicked himself when his voice shook. Soda rattled the door handle, and quickly found out that the door was locked. "Pony?!" Soda called, worry evident in his voice. "Pony open the door!"

 **I'm paralyzed. I'm scared to live but I'm scared to die, and if life is pain then I buried mine, a long time ago but it's still alive.**

Soda shook the door handle more aggressively, and Pony's eyes got more watery as he just watched. He started to freak out. He knew Darry would wake soon, and that he was running out of time. He grabbed another pill and quickly swallowed it. "Darry!" He heard Soda yell, and heard more footsteps. Pony heard Soda talking to Darry in a terrified voice, but he wasn't paying attention to the conversation. He grabbed another pill and swallowed.

 **And it's taking over me, where am I? I wanna feel something, I'm numb inside, but I don't feel nothing, I wonder why. I'm in a race of life and time passed by.** **Look, I sit back and I watch it, hands in my pockets.**

Soda told Darry what was going on, and Darry got a screwdriver. He started to undue the hinges on the door as Pony took another pill. Pony's stomach started to hurt, and his vision blurred a bit, and went in and out of focus. Pony felt lightheaded and his vision blurred more.

 **Waves come crashing over me but i just watch 'em. I just watch 'em. I'm under water but I feel like i'm on top of it. i'm at the bottom and I don't know what the problem is. I'm in a box, but I'm the one that locked me in. Suffocating and I'm running out of oxygen.**

Pony leaned on the sink more as his stomach started to burn. He screamed, but couldn't hear himself scream. Now, everything he heard was muffled. He felt like he was going to pass out. he heard Soda yell something, but wasn't sure what.

 **I'm Paralyzed. Where are my feelings?** **I no longer feel things I know I should.**

Out of the corner of his eye, Pony saw the door fly off the hinges, and he saw his brothers run in through his blurry vision. At that moment, his knees gave way from underneath him. Hands grab him, slow his decent. Even though he can't clearly see who it is, he knows its Sodapop. He recognized the warm, gentle touch. Through his blurry vision, he sees Darry kneel down beside him on the other side of Sodapop.

 **I'm Paralyzed. Where is the real me? I'm lost and it kills me inside... I'm paralyzed.**

Pony hears them talking, yelling, and whispering. He can't hear a thing they're saying though. It's all muffled, and he's too focused on the burning in his stomach. He feels like he wants to throw up, but keeps himself from doing so. Through the muffled sounds, he hears crying. he doesn't know if its him crying or Soda. He feels tired now. He closes his eyes, but distantly hears someone tell him to open them, which he slowly does. He feels strong arms gently pick him up off of the ground and walk him out of the bathroom. Seeing things pass by as Darry carried him made him feel nausea again,and so he let his eyelids droop shut, and stay that way.

 **I'm just so paralyzed,** **I'm just so paralyzed, I have no feelings.**

He felt the cool breeze of the outside air, and knew that they were no longer in the house. He heard a car door open and felt Darry put him in a sitting position in the backseat. He almost fell over onto the seat, but a different set of hands caught him. Someone sat next to him in the back, and let him lean on them. He knew it was Soda. Pony felt Soda wrap his arm around him, and heard Soda talking quietly to him. His voice sounded so... Broken.

 **How come I'm not moving, why aren't I moving?**

Pony kept his eyes closed and felt the truck start to back out of the drive-way. He knew he wouldn't make it though. He could feel it, and he was _okay_ with it.

 **I'm Paralyzed,** **I'm Paralyzed,** **I'm Paralyzed...**

He leaned on Soda a bit more, and listened to Soda's voice slowly start to fade away, along with everything else. The rattle of the truck, Darry's curses, Soda's crys and pleas, and his own whimpers of pain. They all started to fade away.

The little bit of light that he could see through his eyelids started to turn into pitch black.. And then there was no more. Everything was fading.

Finally, he's numb.

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 **Please review and tell me how I did. I'm sorry if the ending seems rushed, and I'm sorry if you didn't like this story. I only had a day to write it and I'm sorry if it was really sad, or really crappy. Please review though, and let me know what you thought. Anything is welcome, even criticism.**


End file.
